Society loves romanticizing intense and controlling relationships. From Wuthering Heights to Twilight, literature and other forms of art paint these love affairs in such a seductive light.
Apparently, there’s nothing better than an all-consuming obsession with no boundaries. Obsession is only for absurd romance novel plots. In real life, control isn’t a sign of true love — it’s selfish manipulation.
Yes, You Need to Leave
According to a number of mediation attorneys in Long Island, a number of manipulative relationships last longer than they should because the controlled spouse is still in denial.
They don’t think anything is wrong with their spouse; it’s just how they are or insist it’s just phase. You might think that your partner is just being moody, but that isn’t always the case.
When that person slowly covers all aspects of your life, think twice. Staying in denial will only prolong your agony. Rather than have them control your life, recognize the signs of manipulation.
Signs of Control
Manipulation manifests in a number of ways. For example, your partner criticizes everything — even the smallest details. Initially, it doesn’t sound like a harsh comment; some spouses mask their critiques in “supportive” languages. Abusers convince you that you need help, even when you don’t.
Controlling partners also isolate their spouses from support systems in a subtle manner. They don’t violently forbid you from seeing your friends or family; it all starts with a gentle nudge. Eventually, you’ll feel guilty for hanging out with people other than your partner. They’ll make negative comments about friends and family until you believe it yourself.
Love Yourself and Go
Staying in a manipulative relationship is bad for you and the kids (if you have). Admittedly, leaving is never easy. But if it’s in your best interest, taking a leap of faith is a must.
Ending the relationship may require help from family and friends, especially if you want to escape. Law firms and support groups also assist you through every step of the way. Just make sure you’re not alone as you execute your plan.
The next time your manipulative spouse claims everything is your fault, it’s time to pack your bags and firmly say: “It’s not me. It’s you.”